when it's quiet

September 9th, 2009

With the house quiet and still, I sit in our air conditioned bed room – thankful that Olivia has taken well to a daily nap schedule, and typing away to keep my self company. The pitter patter of the keys, the potential social life that rests in the roar of “face book”, and “blog spot”, the unrest that is within me…



I know that creativity comes when there is unrest. This is good. And time with God brings about answers and peace. This is good too. I’ll try at some poetry- corny, cheesy, and soothing.



Cubes of cinderblocks form a large square room.

This is their home. This is their doom.

Can’s see past the pain when they are smiling.

A mile of tears in the river that was.

He says his home floated away.

Promises of a better life…flies take over the kitchen.

Hands with out washing. Feet run bare.

Across the dirt. Smoke in the air.

Who am I to help? Who am I to cry?

Maybe this is bliss. Happiness in the filth.



Ok. That was fun. I plan to do some paintings of the tamales that we made together last week…was it last week?

It feels as if I have been here for years already. Days move slower. There is importance in the small things like buying milk, mopping the floor, 11 am baby nap, play time, doing dishes, praying, 4 pm baby nap, nursing, preparing meals, cleaning kitchen, sweeping, a stroll around the yard, keeping track of my thoughts, praying.

It has been hot and I have been antsy. What God has spoken to my heart is that I must be patient and serve who is in front of me at the moment. Being that I am in a home full of people- Brian, Olivia, Chris, Charlie- there is much to do, and many ways to serve. To keep up with the home, the meals, and the needs here is enough. But God knows my heart and knows that I have a passion to serve the women and children here in Honduras – who aches for hope and love.

At first I must be faithful with the little things, and may I be given more…

I must learn the language better. Find friends and bravery to travel alone with Olivia- outside our small neighborhood. I must be confident and dedicated to what and how I will serve. Must be sure that I am where God wants me to be and not where pride guides me. Patience. What a virtue indeed.



These quiet times, bring everything to its root. The true meaning cannot hide between laughter, business, movement, talk and chatter.

I am faced with the reasons. The reasons why we are here. The reasons why I am here.

It was almost as if there was no choice in coming. As though I were in an ocean’s tide being pulled and calmed at the same time.

Growing with the knowledge that sometimes we cannot take care of only ourselves. Sometimes the beauty is in taking care of each other. The beauty is in asking for our “daily bread”. I believing that God will give us what we need- not what we think we need.

This has been the reason so far. This is what I hear in the quietness. Back in LA there would not be such quietness. I have a car there. Friends. Places to go, things to see, people to meet, and walks to take…busy.

I am soaking up the provision of time, and patience. The reasons before me. The reasons ahead.