Our first week back
After we unpacked, Chris helped us do some laundry, and we showered and lay in bed. Olivia sleeping side ways between us, and the distant sounds of Tegucigalpa; dogs barking, roosters crowing, the water pump clicking on and off, cars honking their horns, fans spinning on the ceiling, squeaky gates outside, shouts over mega phones, birds and bugs humming in the yard…I keep thinking – I’m going to cry- but I don’t. I drift off to sleep dreaming about all the guns that guards outside of stores and restaurants hold, finger on triggers. In my dreams the guns are gold and silver and the guards are smiling and dancing.
The first three days back in Honduras were difficult for me. I was instantly missing family and friends. It was great that my new Honduran girlfriend Gabby offered to take me grocery shopping- a girls day out. I stocked up our fridge and felt a bit more secure. The next day was bible study with my Mommy group of Honduran friends. I was tired, and tried to understand the conversations around me that opened up in Spanish. Laughing, serious faces, chatter…I could make out one in five words. I was lost trying to pick up on the inside jokes and issues that were being discussed. I imagined…husbands, housework, schools for their kids, recipes…I longed deeply for my Mommy Group in LA. During the bible study I asked for translation, and during lunch, the women spoke in English and Spanish. We talked about diet, grocery bills, and buying homes. Similar conversations that we would have back in LA. This is ok- I thought, this is like home. Once Olivia and I arrived home, I collapsed with a migraine, and waited patiently for Brian to get home from work.
waiting for DaddyI prayed for rest, to get out of the slump of depression that weighed over me, and to lift the haze and confusion that I felt I was drowning in.
The next day I met with Bethany, my girlfriend from Indiana. We were going to review plans for opening a Health and Wellness Center in Via Linda Miller- a poor community about 45 minutes outside of downtown. Darwin arranged a taxi to pick Olivia and I up, and we spent the day at Bethany’s in downtown Tegus. It was great to talk with a fellow female about the difficulty in returning and how I longed for things like safe and easy transportation, Trader Joes, sidewalks and parks, tap water, clean streets, clean air, toilets that flush toilet paper, phone service! Bethany will be going back to the States for 5 months to raise money for the Health and Wellness Center, and to plan her stay in Honduras full time. We decided to take a walk into town for a coffee, and planned a meeting with Dr. Sandra and Leopold- they would be helping us to get the Center started.
My mind shifted from being depressed in what I didn’t have, to living the moment in what I do have; an opportunity to be part of God’s great work and vision! As I sipped my late, Olivia smiled her two tooth grin. I felt the weight lifted, and focused- on our Health and Wellness Center
The Health and Wellness Center at Clinica Arlene
Health and Wellness Center
Drive to Via Linda Miller The Clinic that stands in the Center of the Via Linda Miller with a chain closing its doors was a challenge that the Awaken Mosaic team tackled when they were here in August. A team had built the Clinic, and came once a year to do dental work for the poor community. Other than that, the doors were shut. Bethany followed up on the head way that the Awaken team had made in finding out- how can this Clinic be open year round?? I insisted that it could, and thought it too painful for the people at VLM to see the doors closed them off to the services they desperately needed. Bethany spoke with the right people, and was able to get the keys to the clinic. A major hurdle. Bethany and I agreed that the Clinic should expand its services to include wellness- or educational programs as well as over all health. Leopold had housed the Awaken team when they were here in Honduras, and shared the vision from the beginning and was excited about helping Bethany and I continue the vision. He knew of a Dr. that may be willing to help- thus our team for the Health and Wellness Center at VLM Clinica Arlene has begun!
Leopold and Dr. Sandra met us and joined in on our coffee experience (Nicolati’s coffee and crepes are a bit of heaven!) During our meeting we set a date to open the Center to the community at VLM, share the vision with them, and conduct data surveys to collect information that would help us to serve them better. We had two days to prepare for our survey day at the Center. It was exciting! God opened the doors and placed an opportunity before us!
Bethany, Vic, Liv, Leo Health & Wellness Center TeamOn Thursday, Bethany, Olivia, Leo, Elizabeth (a short term missionary) and Ali (Darwin’s sister) set up and opened the doors to the center. People were waiting before we even arrived. I set up the food, Bethany greeted the community, Leo and Ali conducted the surveys, and Elizabeth kept the children busy. We were a team. The surveys asked questions like: how many people are in your family, what are your major health concerns, what health related topics would you like to learn about? The data was put directly into our computers because many of the people could not read or write. We listened to their stories, concerns, dreams, and served snacks and drinks. It was an amazing and inspiring day. We plan on opening in 5 months time, and hope to provide a full measure of health services as well as educational programs such as prenatal and infant care classes, diet and nutrition, parent education, and bible studies. I will send more information if you would like to support this vision for the Health and Wellness Center. This is Bethany’s dream come true, and I am able to provide the educational component. We will be working on this together from Honduras and the States- even if I am not here to physically serve at the Center, I will be happy to be part of the initial organization and establishment of the vision.
Ali, Livi, and Pedro
families waiting to be surveyed 
children at the Center
Grandma, Mom, and kids at the Center
Lupe and her friend at the Center
Bethany and Vic at the CenterAn Interview
With One prayer, God opened windows, doors, and opportunities seemed to flow like milk and honey. More than I could handle even. During a conversation with Bethany, the International School came up, and she said they were in desperate need for a pre-school teacher. We set up an interview and I visited the school with Olivia. I took a taxi high up into the hills and met with three people; the superintendent, the principal of elementary, and the director of pre-school. I was basically offered the job right there, with Olivia sitting on my lap. Down side- it was a 7am-3pm gig with a class room of 23 four year olds and one assistant. Olivia would be in a small room taken care of my maids and I would have to pay for her child care. They pay was way below what I would accept- but the experience of having an interview and being offered a job was exciting. It reminded me that I still have what it takes to work, run programs, and that I am more than a Mom. For now, I am not willing to have Olivia in child care 8 hours a day 5 days a week- but the offer is still on the table, and I hope to possibly have a relationship with the school to do some consultation work on Curriculum planning for special education programs. 
Land of HondurasA Miracle! Honduras is going to the World Cup!
Not sure if any one was watching (Aaron and Corrie) but firs the US beat Honduras in soccer – which is a game that we watched with our friend Charlie (yes Olivia came and got tons of attention from the crowd at the bar) at my fav restaurant Las Tajetias (check out the Salva Vida girl) and then Honduras made it to compete in the World Cup! This is a major success and just what the country needed in such times. We heard the cheers and celebration sounds all night long and bought Olivia a team jersey to celebrate! Honduras even had a holiday the next day, and every one (except Tegu) took the day off. To recover from hang over too I suspect.
You GO Honduras!!More Opportunities…Working and Living Over Seas. A Seminar at Union Church
Brian and I were invited to a seminar at Union Church that offered a two day seminar about living and working Over Seas. This was perfect timing for us because there are many giant questions that linger over our heads. Lisa Zevoteck Hekel, LMSW taught the class and covered many topics that were right on target with what I felt I was going through and experiencing. Not only did we make new friends, we also learned that most of what we were going through as a couple and individually is normal and expected when living and working over seas. For example, the exhaustion and depression are often caused by “subliminal stress” and “compassion fatigue”. Subliminal stress is why guards with guns were making their way into my dreams. It’s the things that I see every day that bother me subliminally- like skinny stray dogs, piles of trash every where, begging children, clouds of pollution pouring out of exhaust pipes, graffiti on Church walls, barb wire above every home and building…these things are stressful to see and live with every day. And compassion fatigue is constantly feeling bad for and about every one and thing around you that by the time you are with your own family or self you have depleted your supply of compassion and become crabby, irritable, and short with those closest to you (like your husband, kids, or even yourself). I was experiencing ALL of this. Just the night before I had thought, why am I subjecting Olivia to this pollution, filth, and despair? The guilt that set in my heart kept me up at night. But the other Mother’s that I met in this seminar related and assured me that God has us as a family for a reason, and He is taking care of Olivia and she will be stronger and greater for this experience that she is having even now. It is true- she is here with us opening doors of friendship and breaking barriers of language down with her smile and charm. As a family, it is obvious that our time has been orchestrated and blessed by God.
Poverty
Downtown Church
a day in the park
guitar in the parkSunday we went to Church and then had lunch with Charlie at my favorite place- after lunch we met up Massimo, a friend through Tegu- and met his family. He has twins just 6 days older than Olivia! Massimo is Italian! So I was able to use my Italian, and I felt so at home in his presence because of our Torino connection! It was such a pleasure to meet new friends, watch our children play together, and enjoy the views from Massimo’s beautiful apartment. We made plans to meet again, and Massimo drove us home.
The views of the city as the night falls are breathtaking. Lights cascade like a Christmas tree and signs light up like dancing ornaments in the dark sky. The air is crisp tonight and refreshing.
I can do this. I can be happy here.
I spoke with our friend Becca while at the seminar and found that she is the program director for the Micah project- a home and school for children who lived on the streets because of drugs, abandonment, or poverty. Becca said that the boys have break from classed from November to January. I offered to teach art classes during the week at our home. We have so much space and the boys would be happy to get out of the crowed downtown area in which their school is located. We set a time, and a date- and I had my first class Monday. Five boys came and Becca translated for me. It was amazing. The boys sat, listened, laughed, and participated. We talked about what art is: expression, visualization, creation, and change. They shared what art meant to them: how to feel, how to draw, painting. I taught that art is personal and it is a gift when we create something for the world to see. It is therapeutic to take the ugly pain inside and create a beautiful form of expression that releases us, and gives vision to others. The boys became interested and focused on the project I gave them- create your sketch book.
Art Class with Micah boysWhat a blessing to teach and get to know these boys. They are treasures and I can’t wait to see their creations! We will have 8 art classes and I plan on hosting a gallery day to share their final projects. If you would like to donate to this project, please let me know! It is tax deductable and our goal is to raise $200. for the classes.
Brian is also teaching a class for the Micah boys! JKD- the Martial Art of Bruce Lee. He begins today, and so far we hear that 8 boys will be coming. He will be teaching self- discipline, and basic moves to start. It is so amazing that here in Honduras Brian can share and practice his passion for Jeet Kune Do.
Wow! So much has happened since we have been back. Just a few hard on my knees prayers, and boom! Opportunities to serve, love, and promote hope here in lives has been provided. My friends from the Mommy group stopped over the other day just to say hi. They brought their children and the kids played with Olivia in her play room. Friends, community, and laughter from children…I am focusing on these things and praying when the subliminal stress or compassion fatigue sets in. Some stress is just the same- making dinners, cleaning dishes, doing laundry, caring for a teething child… other stresses only God can soothe- only He can answer the questions and calm my mind, give me rest and peace in the unknown and variable places. I am thankful. I am hopeful. I am back.
