Our first week- trash, dinners, clinics, dogs, babies, and friends

We drove up to visit the trash dump that the AFE children live at or near by. It is hell on earth.


Vultures circle in the sky and people circle through the trash collecting trash that they maybe able to sell such as plastic, paper, metal, etc. Children run barefoot on an landscape of refused items; just think of walking on your trash, sleeping in it, hugging it, and considering it to be home.

Cows grazing in the midst of this surreal scene, as I held my breath and tried not to think of the toxic fly infested air that I was breathing in. From inside the car, I see Olivia and Daddy playing- the air conditioner on, music playing- safe and smiling. The atmosphere in just our car alone would be heaven to the children of the trash dump. Do they know there is another way, another place that we call home? Or is it better that this is all they know right now- until we cam offer something else- until God comes to bring them up- take them away. I hear God’s voice as I pray with our Church team- here for a dream of relief…” wash them. Make them white as snow. Love them. See them for who they are. My children”. Oh Messiah. My Provider.

I am haunted with dream so the children of the trash dump. Their Mother’s hopeless faces are branded in my mind. Every time I throw something in the trash I think of their hands digging through as if to find gold- and Easter egg hunt of sorts. Their smiles seem an illusion. I am haunted because that which we know and see we are responsible for- responsible too. I begin to pray and write up a curriculum that I want to share with the AFE School. A vision to educate and promote hope to the Mother’s and children- health and parenting classes once a week, bathing, clean water, care packages, sponsoring families, loving, hoping, trying to change lives- one face at a time.

I am plagued.



After the visit to the trash dump, we get to see some other more hopeful sites of the city. I am learning to say and spell the name- Teguciculpa. The land is so breath taking. Green hills dip into lush valleys, edged in by rough stone and boulders. The sky is dense with clouds that tapestry against a deep blue. Dogs wander and run wild, and people bustle the streets standing in random locations waiting for the public transit which look like yellow school buses. Women carry balancing buckets filled with tortillas and other goods, and children hold tight their Padres as they ride on the back of motor bikes and trucks.



Aug 23rd The local mall is busy too and I am surprised at the collection of stores. There is an upper class here. The restaurants remind me of the States- pizza hut, burger king, quiznos, subway, ruby Tuesdays, popyees chicken---we choose the Mexican food and enjoy tacos for six. The Church team all dig into their meals after prayers, and we are all so thankful for free refills of beverages. We shop at the grocery store together after dinner and are surprised by the selection of foods that are similar to home. In my mind I start planning meals – breakfast will be eggs with bacon and avocados, lunch some tuna over salad, dinner chili with corn and veggies. A bit or normalcy after all. The best thing about the mall locations are the internet avail and the uma service which allows free phone calls on my black berry. When I am not at the mall, these practicalities become impracticalities and I am reminded of how far from home I am.



Aug 24th Olivia and I join the medical team to set up a free clinic at the Church at Via Linda Miller. There are 4 PA’s and 1 nurse and me. I use my educational and counseling skills that I learned while volunteering at the West side pregnancy clinic in LA. As a team we see about 100 patients and I have a chance to educate moms about healthy pregnancy, infant care, nursing, and wellness. Olivia is passed around the room as children smile, and laugh at her sweet face. A prophecy was spoken over her and I can now see it to be true—she will bridge the language gap, she will open doors, she will bring us together. As she is. And she does. No one is sick at the clinic. There are some rashes, aches and pains, colds, and concerns. We give out vitamins, aspirin, and some other drugs I can’t pronounce. I lecture the patients about healthy posture, drinking water instead of sugar drinks, doing stretches and breathing exercises daily, and getting rest. I can just see them all—doing my stretch exercises and complaining that they can’t drink soda or coffee with every meal. The best secret I tell it to put breast milk on any kind of rash or illness--- picturing the crowds doing this gives me and the entire team to a laugh.



Aug 25 A day of laundry, unpacking in detail, and playing with Olivia was needed. Today if I sit here and just do housework and parent my daughter, I am being productive and enjoying my time. There is a balance that I must have in serving, being out, being a wife, staying in, being a mother, dreaming, creating, cleaning, and relaxing. There are many things to balance. Today I savor each moment of Olivia’s little life. Her warm smile and touch of her soft caramel skin. She can pull herself to standing. She can clap her hands. She blows kisses, she tries to sing. She makes so many sounds that will soon be words that will soon be sentences..paragrahps..Storeis that she will tell. I write this to her as well- that she may remember Honduras, the people, the faces, the friends. At night, we had a chance to visit the Micah house which is a project that helps children who live on the street to get an education and pursue their dreams. The boys have diner with us in a large apartment style home with a main cafeteria style room that has an open roof. A long table goes down the middle of the room and the stars can be seen above. The dinner is chicken and rice with tortillas and salad. Everything is served with tortillas. After dinner the boys rap style sing about their testimonies; how they came to know freedom in Christ and why they have hope. Many of the boys are now young men who are examples to the younger boys and leaders in their mission field of changing street kids’ lives. It is a transformation- and remarkable example of what happens when we invest in the lives of those who may at times be shadows to us. The stories of the boys can be read on their website- and are written across their faces, through their smiles, and in the love that beams across the room. There are dogs howling and the boys rap, and Olivia is passed amongst the sea of arms that embrace her, call her buonetta, and pinch her happy thick thighs.



Aug 26 home again and enjoying a day of grocery shopping and visiting with my girl friend here. Her boyfriend is working with Tegu- the first Honduran employee. It is demanding and exciting to all be part of a start-up company. The philosophy and end goal to employee more people of Honduras and use the natural resources while making a contribution to the future and education of the children here- is definitely something to be excited about. We feel as if we are part of something bigger- but today we are pushing grocery carts and hoping that we will have the freedom to do more projects outside of the home, or independently without always being tag-along. Bethany, my girlfriend, is a nurse, and we talk about combining my education background with her health expertise. We dream big, but must be patient because it is all in God’s hands. As we make our way through the grocery store I become more and more aware of how much I have to study to learn the language. There is a barrier and I am working hard to chisel away at it.

I read aloud the directions Brian has written for me to refill the minutes on my cell phone. The cashier at the grocery squints her eyes to try and make out what the heck I am saying. Through an act of charades, her face light up and she understands what this Gringa wants. She sends me to another clerk who texts something into her phone which magically gives my phone more minutes. It’s a mystery- but somehow works and I can use my Honduran phone to make Honduran calls only. All else I have to wait until I am in a location with UMA service, or calling through the internet. It is a web of technology and impracticality.

As Bethany and I walk home with our grocery treasures, Olivia bounces in the stroller with its big wheels and toys swaying in the polluted air. She falls to sleep because of the bumps in the road. There is no stretch of sidewalk longer then 50 paces. There are dips, holes, trees, trash, boulders, broken walks side walks, and other strange objects that break the walk. I remember the lovely stroll in Santa Monica--- one long sidewalk that took me from my home to the park. Like a yellow brick road. I am jerked into reality as cars wiz by and honk, startling Olivia, and we trek onto out dirt road which leads to our gated community- Colonial de America. Funny and not at the same time.

I organize the groceries as I place them in the refrigerator. Pouring some tea and preparing lunch, the methodic trance helps me to feel that at least I have control over something---



Aug 27 The Church team treat us to dinner at there guest house. We enjoy pasta with veggies and some home baked USA style cake. Conversations bloom around the room—the business team talks about who is in charge of the trash, the dumps, the recycling, the programs and rights for the people…the medical team talks about medical suppliers, clinics, pharmacies, healthcare programs… Brian and I are somewhere in between. We talk mostly about Olivia, our move to Honduras, the food, and the internet. We are our own team. God took us here. We see ourselves as team players in so many ways, yet the unique knit that holds us together is our dependence on each other and complete reliance on God—we have to keep up with smiles, and I have to keep my humor about things. Brian can tell when I am stressed and we both are recovering from spending hours on the toilet. This makes us frown and laugh and Olivia keeps us in check by grabbing at our faces and calling us “mama, and dada”. That’s who we are, and we are a team.



Aug 28 To celebrate our long week and transition, Brian, Olivia, and I take a walk down to the local restaurants and find a fab place that has great food, music, a salsa bar, and drinks. The restaurants here also have indoor playgrounds, and children run around while adults laugh and talk loud. Olivia gets fussy and then spits up the plantains she was trying to stuff down. She has taken a few steps back on the solids train and is nursing so much for both comfort and nutrition. This is good since I have not yet gotten a food system down for her here and amongst the many transitions we have made- it is so great to nurse her. She and I agree, and the solids will begin again with balance and routine next week.

After more tacos and plantains, we walk a bit further to the cinema. We see “the hang over” which is hilarious. Olivia sleeps through the entire film and we have a great laugh, feeling normal and relaxed.



Aug 29 to continue our weekend, we drive with our friends Darwin, Bethany, and Christine to the Valley of Angeles. I can not get over how amazing the land here is as we swoop up into the mountains and curve back down through the valleys. We stop along the way to buy some baked corn, fruits, and some kind of corn meal pancake. When we arrive, we are at a fair of sorts, with live music, dancing, art, food, and shops. It is a tourist’s sight for locals and visitors and I am so happy to be there. The items for sale are hand made wooden objects like frames, treasure chests, bowls, and cups. The colors are bright and it is exactly what I pictured Honduran décor to be. There are also plants and paintings, and Brian suggests that we buy home items once we are back from out trip to NY is September. It is hard to not buy everything- because it is all beautiful, but we must respect our budget and ease into decorating our shared home.

We sit to have lunch ordering pinchas which are kabobs and have the sweetest ices tea or Frio tea that I ever tasted. All the drinks are super sweet here and there are always dogs sitting at your feet begging for a scrap. Their sad eyes remind me of the trash dump kids and I throw him a scrap.

On the way home, we stop at another look out- there is a Church and a family hustles out of a bright yellow pick up truck dressed in there Sunday best. It seems a wedding is going on. Next we stop at a small pond and Olivia laughs at the ducks swimming in the pond. I think it is her first time seeing ducks. I think of the Mommy group at home and miss the faces of her peers.

The drive home helps me to stay present and remember that I will see everyone again soon. I am happy for the new friends too and embrace the beauty there is around.



Aug 30 Family Church day at our local Church- Impacto, is amazing. Brian, Olivia, and I walk about 4 houses away to a huge building and are greeted both English and Spanish speaking attendees. The power had gone out- which apparently is rather common- and there were candle lights everywhere. We found a seat in the back, and after the music, we took Olivia to the nursery. The power then went back on, just as the Pastor was saying a "Praise God"! Olivia stayed the entire time, and the message during service had a simultaneous English translator. Amazing. The Pastor challenged us in asking what do we put our faith in, and will we be a people who trust God. After service, we are invited to Bible studies, and I am invited to a Mommy group! This is what I have been praying for! We leave with our collection of phone numbers and I am excited for my Tuesday date for Mommy group.

That night, I cook a huge dinner for the team- Chili, salad, corn, and veggies with caramel ice cream for dessert. While I am preparing the food, we get a phone call that one team member had a seizure. The world stops. Chris rushes to the hospital that the ambulance took her to – an international hospital, and we wait, while truing to enjoy the chili and conversation. We pray together and hope for the best. The medical professionals on the team talk about what could have happen, and hours after everyone eats, the dishes are cleaned, and reports come in- we find that she is ok, but more testing will be done and her parents will come to Honduras to get her. This is a major moment at which I must stop and appreciate all that has been given and the health that we are blessed with. If at the moment I am not living the dream, then I am not fully living.