Meeting Moms

It's a lot like dating-
tiresome, exciting, disappointing, and funny.
Meeting the Moms that you like who have the kids that your kid likes.
First I need to learn the culture of the city here. Phoenix is NOT Santa Monica, where I previously lived, and it's NOT New York City, who I previously was (sort to speak).  Its its own place. Good and bad to it. The summer. Bad. The homes. Good. The shopping. Wal Mart= Bad. The land. Mountains= Good. And so on.
I've tried Meet Up groups. I've put myself out there, trying to connect with Moms. Olivia tries to kiss every toddler she sees. I've even started a toddler Learn and Play class in my community---- but it is only time that will build the fortresses that I call friendship. The boats that keep us floating.
I was with a group of Moms who were talking feverishly about another Mom. I asked them "who is this Mom?" and they replied "you don't watch Moms of OC?" or some kind of reality show. No. I don't.  I am a reality show! We all are!
Is this everywhere? This escape into another person's drama, life, pain...ignoring our own- or numb to it?
I swear that I was able to share, listen, and be heard at times of my life. I swear I knew those kind of amazing people who thought beyond their city, beyond their TV.
Maybe my time to be dreaming, or to be far away in thought is just not now? Maybe it is all about the baby, the moment, the here and now. The "Mommy" stage of life. But I do still have dreams, thoughts, disappointments, and they must be shared even if I am typing them out into the great space of inter net land far and beyond. I know that other Moms look to connect with people, to share, and to feel.
so  that's the raw truth blog update. with out the poetry and photos.
not sure if anyone will read it. But send me luck as I continue to "Mommy date" and seek those friendships that are gold. because- God knows, I miss all of you who helped carry me through  heavy times. I need you now...

Visits. Angela and LA. Summer 2010

Summer in Phoenix is passing by quickly. After July 4th, time seemed to pick up. Our days are filled, and we are building community here.  We have also been blessed with many visitors.  My sister Angela visited at the end of July.  She has graduated College, and is now an RN.  We took the time to celebrate together and she and Olivia had a chance to make some memories too.  We also took a drive to LA to visit Grandma Olivia, Bri's Mom, for her birthday, and spent time with our great friends.  The photos below capture summer so far, and the poems express how the transitions, relationships, and memories have imprinted my heart.

swim class
The cool water washes over heat. My daughter- I breathe.
Rescue my love from times ahead...times behind. Dive into my arms.
I will catch you.  Catch you and offer you dreams, and life so full of water- less of tears.
If you rest peaceful then we may all dream of happiness. Phoenix your home. Tegus your rescue.

Angela and Olivia. Community Pool

I wish everyone to be here in the same moment. Take a photo in my mind and print it on my heart. Distance cries out in lonely times.  Build me a memory album taped with photos of love and promises. Here we are safe. We are happy. We miss you. Can I be filled and emptied at the same time.  Tears blend into waterfalls that swell around the pool of our love.

Vic and Angel. Random coffee shop. Cave creek

Sisters driving down roads blossoming with cactus.  Is this real my- New York City bad self and sun kissed Santa Monica dream life? Is this my home of desert mountain and purple skies? Have I left a piece of my heart with the crying children living at the trash dumps and wilted rivers of Honduras? I am promising that yes. I will leave a piece of my heart with each step and create a new image made perfectly in His Glory.  My sister told me so. She is the wiser. Passing wisdom down, now we embrace in what we know of each other. Sister love is endless.  Leslie- for you too.

My Baby girl. Desert Ridge water play.
Bella baby. I knew you in my dreams.  You are your own person now.  We play. we read. you laugh. you yell. we eat. we run. you talk. you need. I can see how much you love your home. you smile when we arrive. I can tell how much you will roam. we've planted adventure in your stride.
My Bella baby. Mommy loves you so. And I don't need to tell you. You already know.

Angela and Olivia reading. Dora is her fav.
It was you and I once. My baby Angel, with big innocent eyes. Now it is you and her. My baby Olivia in your knowing arms.  Generation passes into generation. We grow into each other. Watered with love. Stretched with experience, and rooted in faith.  

Sleepy drive from Phoenix to Los Angeles (6hrs)
Traveling we are.  You look as though you know.  We took you to a calling far from here. Baby, you tied us into people lives. One smile at a time. Spanish speaking eyes. They told me. Buonita Bebe. Linda Bebe.
And that was enough. You tied me to their hearts and hurts and forever I will remember. How we traveled. Across economies. Across politics. Across equators. Across mountains.  You made me brave.
And sometimes we go back home. Where ever that maybe.

The six! Plus two

I know your names by heart. Remember times we laughed. build each memory. it is a tall tower. we lead each other distances. inspired one another to dream and venture.  we can be deep as waters, or simple as morning light.
friends. these are priceless.  true friends. never can be replaced. my heart aches when I cannot skip to you for a hug. all sit around and sing or laugh together.  be brave friends.  and we will always visit. be it here or there or anywhere...

Daddy and Livi

To be a Daddy. A strong tree that lifts and hold and roots.  Daddy. Livi says "Dada"  She leaps into his arms. She tests him. She laughs at his games.  We could not go far without you- Daddy. You are our ship and sail and wind.

Seal Beach Surfing

What is most missed? the water. the sea. the ocean crashes. the land that speaks back and is not silent in breeze or sun blaze.  the busy. the ties. the beach. we miss the land we know so well. the santa monica cliffs, the coast line, the malibu breeze, the pch drives, the tall towers of tress, the lush air and crisp wind, the flowers dancing with color, and all of you. our ties to each other.

Sienna and Olivia. Santa Monica beach

Well it has not been easy to leave all that we have called home. New York, Santa Monica, Honduras...
wherever we step foot together, we leave a mark. our roots reach wide and deep and I pray we bring life.  Some days I stare at the computer screen and images of Tegus Honduras pass me by.  I ache and love and hope.  Other days I drive along the roads of Phoenix thinking maybe I can stop by the Santa Monica bluffs for a stroll.  Nights I read and my mind wanders. Finds me in the city night of NYC skipping along wet streets crowded with taxi cabs and footsteps.
Music rocks my memory as beats take me back to each place I have called home.
And Phoenix sways me to sleep. Promises sweet dreams. Thick air covers me like a blanket and the tall cactus points and waves towards heaven.  A home. We are with you. A home. We build together.

Where are the Silverios now?

Where are the Silverios now?

*photos from Easter in LA

Well dear family and friends, it's been a while since my last blog up date-- or a least it has felt like ages since I've written. Our little family has been praying, and waiting for our next step in life, and craving to make roots some where after nearly a year of moving around. I can say that I would like to take a vacation from our big black suitcases, and unpack once and for all. I desire to hang a painting on the wall, get to know the clerks at my local shops, wave to the mail man, memorize a home address, sleep in my own bed, open a drawer or cabinet that is filled with my own things, and invite people over for dinner and drinks at my home!

And that time is finally near! We know that God has opened doors, while others closed behind us. We see God’s hand in everything that we are doing, and have done. And before I tell you where we are landing this time, I want to look back and thank the people that have made this journey a blessing...

Mom and Dad in Cerritos for praying and seeing us through this long journey. Nicole for coming to visit us in Central America. Sean and Dad for helping to take care of things for us while we were away, and Tita Ching for the warm meals waiting for us when ever we came home.

Darwin for his hospitality in Honduras. Chris for his energy and inspiration in Tegus. Gabby, Lesley, Bethany, Becca, Rosario, Alejandra, and Belinda for becoming like family to us during our time in Tegus, Honduras.

In LA, Julie and Hyung for making your home our home, George and Lory for your strength in prayers, Goodie for your listening heart, Kristina and Dan, Ronnie and Craig, and Brettney and Jason for your friendships, Corrie and Aaron for your great love.

I promised to tell what I have learned in reflection of this time. Truth is, I still can’t believe where and what this year has given, and taken from us. I feel dizzy, exhausted, and like I am just waking from a dream. Was it worth it? YES! The risk, the endurance, the lessons that come from taking a chance on God is – well- limitless. There is no end to the lessons that will uncover from the year we have had. There is no way to measure such experiences, and how it feels when you’re riding on the wings of prayer. It is not easy, but I have developed an appreciation for family, friends, life, freedom, and provisions that I only had a glimpse of prior to this experience.


There will be more to say as I set roots, have time, and unpack (literally) myself. If you are reading, thank you for your support. Pray for us as we rest here now in sunny beautiful Phoenix ARIZONA!

Yes, there are mountains, trees, beautiful homes, happy kind people, great communities, and memories to make. I will be sending photos and more updates soon. Brian has taken a great job, Olivia is adjusting well as always, and I am so happy to finally call some place home.

Our New York Visit- March 2010

Olivia Lauren and I began our visit in Long Island NY to stay with Grandma Lauren and Pappy.

 Gifts were waiting for us there as well as smiles, hair cuts, food, hugs, kisses, puppy kisses, and more hugs. It's so different to be at Mom's house as a Mother (now that I wear my Mother hat well) and be on the other side of things. I can appreciate Motherhood so much now, and it's fun to talk about it and share it with my Mom and sister.  It's also amazing to watch Olivia build relationships with her Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles,  and cousins. It makes me wish we could some how all be in the same place--- or be traveling together, like the Indians did.  Well we cherish the smiles, memories, and time we do have together.

Grandma and Pappy are having so much fun playing, laughing, and feeding Olivia.

  

Livi loved baby Niko and was giving him his paci, bottle, and toys! Niko is my sister Leslie's baby, and they were visiting my Mom and Tom in LI, NY the same week that we were. It was so great to get the babies and us Mommies together!

We all took a trip to visit Aunt Andrea, Uncle Tony, and all or cousins in Rye,Westchester, then headed to Purchase to see Aunt Lisa, Uncle Joe, and all our cousins. Jody and her children Cole and Emma came by

Olivia and I visited our friends Jennie and her new baby Alexa, Anyeline, and Naomi in New York City.  It was fun to be in NYC again, but also nice to just be a tourist! Olivia was a rock star and loved all the action in the big apple.

Our cousin Nina came back with us from NYC, and we enjoyed some more cousin-baby time at Mom's in LI.

We went to have dinner with Great Grandma Adrian, Robby, Ryan, and Maureen.  The babies loved the boys! And Olivia loved Adrian because she was feeding her treats all night.

It was hard to say good bye to all our family and friends in NY, but we are happy to be back with Daddy! Our little family has been so busy traveling and have seen so much this year. Now we have met up with Brian in Arizona to explore a job opportunity.  We will be staying together in Scottsdale, Phoenix - taking in the sun and enjoying quiet family time. Pray for us as we continue on our journey together.